NO LONGER FEELING LIKE A STRANGER

In recent years, several sociologists have studied what makes people feel welcomed into a congregation and what makes them feel like a stranger or an outsider. If you ever have been relatively new to a synagogue, you probably know the feeling. You can say "Shabbat Shalom" or "L'shanah tovah" to several men and women you barely know year after year, but you still might be feeling like you don't quite belong there...until something deeper happens that makes you feel connected intimately and personally with one or more members of the congregation.





What exactly can change the feeling of being a stranger and turn it into the feeling of being appreciated, cared about deeply, and included consistently?





ONE SUCCESSFUL WAY TO BECOME LESS ISOLATED





At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, there are numerous ways that this not-very-large but extremely-warm-and-welcoming group of people break down the barriers and make it possible for intimacy and connection to occur. Several members of the congregation will volunteer to host a variety of small but lively Shabbat dinners at their homes. Numerous members and non-members will be signing up and joining them as welcomed guests to enjoy the candles, the food, the conversations, and the intimacy of an at-home Shabbat gathering.





But how does it work? How in a large spread-out city like Los Angeles and in a medium-sized congregation like Ahavat Torah can the feeling of isolation and distance get transformed into a beautiful and memorable feeling of enjoying Shabbat with 6 or 10 or 14 people in a warm and welcoming home-cooked setting?





THE EXQUISITE LOGISTICS





The idea of creating at-home Shabbat dinners for members and non-members to enjoy in small groups began soon after Ahavat Torah formed 8 years ago. Arlene Rosenblatt started the tradition and she recalls, "It just seemed to be consistent with who we are. That we want to be able to get to know each other better and care about one another in a more personal way than you find at many larger temples." Arlene also wanted to make sure that the gatherings help people get to know men, women and families who live not too far from one another so that friendships and closeness could naturally develop.

Then for several years, Judy Weintraub helped to organize these Shabbat circles of warmth and celebration at various homes. Two or three times a year she would put out the word that several people were opening up their homes for honored guests to join them for a Shabbat gathering. Then during the candles, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of holiness, some friendships would begin or deepen, and many of the feelings of distance or isolation would dissolve away for those who were relatively new to the congregation or who had not yet found the chance to connect intimately with other participants from the congregation.













MEMORIES AND NEW EXPERIENCES





Many members of Ahavat Torah Congregation can recall the wonderful feeling of being at the Shabbat dinners hosted by Gene, Marvin, and Kimball Marsh for many years at their home in the Fairfax district. At these warm and thought-provoking gatherings, the food, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of extended family created soulful memories that numerous congregants will never forget.










THE SOONER THE BETTER






Most of all, I hope you have a joyous and memorable Shabbat experience on an upcoming Friday night (watch the newsletter for details) and that it becomes the beginning (or the deepening) of some nourishing friendships.

LEARNING FROM TWO COURAGEOUS INDIVIDUALS

Every year at Passover Seders worldwide, the Haggadah tells of a child (or a part of ourselves) that says skeptically, "What does all this have to do with me?"

In response, the Seder participants say more than once, "Because we were oppressed, we need to stand up for those who are currently oppressed."

For many hundreds of years, Jews and non-Jews who attend Passover Seders (including Martin Luther King, Jr.) have been inspired by these words to find their own voice and their courage for speaking up against various forms of oppression that still exist in our modern age.



MAKING IT COME ALIVE IN YOUR OWN SITUATION



How exactly do you "stand up for those who are currently oppressed?" And what if it takes you beyond your comfort zone? Or what if you are a polite and conflict-avoidant person who doesn't like to make waves? Have you ever felt tongue-tied or unable to find the right method for doing something about a situation that touched your heart?



On Saturday, March 26th at 2 pm at Ahavat Torah (343 Church Lane in Brentwood near Sepulveda and Montana) you will have a rare opportunity to meet, talk with, and learn from two modern-day examples of how to stand up effectively and help people who are being oppressed.



Here's just a glimpse into the dramatic story of how two people from a small town in Texas have given us clues as to how to repair the world by refusing to sit idly by.



"SOMETHING DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THIS"



In July of 1999, the very popular sheriff of Tulia, Texas (population 5,000) rounded up 47 people (including 37 African Americans) and put them in jail as suspected drug dealers. The courts quickly sentenced these low-income individuals to long jail terms (some of them up to 90 years). Hardly anyone seemed to mind that all the accusations came from one undercover officer named Tom Coleman who didn't use a wire to record any conversations and who had major inconsistencies in his testimony, but who was then awarded "Lawman of the Year" by Texas Attorney General John Cornyn (who later became a well-known Senator from Texas).



In Tulia there was a white couple who felt uncomfortable with this rush to justice. Both Alan Bean and Nancy Bean were Baptist ministers. Nancy had grown up in Tulia before moving to Louisville, Kentucky where the two of them met during seminary school. Then Nancy and her husband Alan moved back to her hometown of Tulia in 1998 to raise their children and enjoy a simpler life.



But in 1999 when they admitted to themselves that "something didn't feel right" about this mass arrest of 47 local African Americans, they began asking questions and they formed a group called Friends of Justice.



At first their search for answers got them ignored by several national organizations that didn't want to get involved. Nancy and Alan were also shunned in their own community. Alan was unable to find work. Nancy described how, "I was teaching at the high school and the other teachers would rather stand during a meeting than sit at a table near me. We were even unwelcome at family gatherings of several of our relatives in Tulia."



Eventually their efforts to examine the evidence and seek justice for the 47 prison inmates led to two books, a documentary film, coverage by '60 Minutes' on CBS, and a new trial that exposed the faulty evidence. Currently there is a film being made about the arrests in Tulia, directed by John Singleton and starring Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton.



A CHANCE TO LEARN WHAT IT TAKES AND HOW IT'S DONE



Laurel Gord is a member of Ahavat Torah Congregation who has been active for many years in efforts for reforming the criminal justice system. After reading a book written by Reverend Alan Bean, she decided to invite him to be the speaker at a fundraiser for the Friends Committee on Legislation in California (which is a small organization trying to make an impact in criminal justice reform). Laurel contacted Alan and Nancy Bean, inviting them to stay in her guest room in Venice, and offering to have them lead a conversation at Ahavat Torah Congregation on Saturday March 26th.



According to Laurel, "I wanted to meet these two people and learn from them face-to-face how they did what they did. I tend to be very conflict-avoidant. So I wanted to hear their insights about how do we each stand up for what we feel strongly to be right, especially when a lot of people close to us disagree with us. How do we find a voice for what we sense needs to be done to stop what we know is wrong?"



ALL ARE WELCOME TO MEET THESE GENUINE AMERICAN HEROES



On Saturday afternoon at 2 pm you can attend whether you've been at Shabbat services (which start at 10 am), or if you've arrived in time for the pot-luck dairy lunch at 12:30 pm, or if you simply show up just prior to 2 pm. Please feel free to invite or bring anyone in your life (children, teens, young adults, or mature adults) who might also be inspired by meeting two people who have been successful at changing the way our society deals with questions of justice and fairness. Sometimes it only takes meeting one or two genuinely courageous individuals to strengthen our own courage and commitment that we all need for dealing with tough situations in our own lives.



THEN MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THE ISSUES THAT HAVE TOUCHED YOUR OWN HEART



During the next few days and weeks, there will probably be several opportunities to seek the right words and the right actions to deal with situations that matter deeply to you. For example, the Social Action Committee of Ahavat Torah is inviting us all to participate in two extremely moving and inspiring events that are coming up very soon:



--A FILM THAT BUILDS BRIDGES BETWEEN SEVERAL TYPES OF SURVIVORS.

At the Museum of Tolerance (co-sponsored by Jewish World Watch and Uri L'Tzedek) on Sunday night March 27th at 7 pm there will be a screening of the award-winning film "The Last Survivor," which tells the stories of four different genocides and the need to make sure we don't stand idly by. The film follows a few survivors of four different genocides (the European Holocaust, Rwanda, Darfur, and Congo) to awaken each of us to the need to take effective action whenever possible. The film screening will be followed by a question and answer session with the filmmakers and various activists in Genocide Prevention and Awareness.



--A CHANCE TO WALK TO STOP THE CURRENT GENOCIDES IN AFRICA. On Sunday morning April 10th at Warner Center Park in Woodland Hills there will be a major walk and rally to let the world know that we won't sit idly by while women are being raped and innocent people are being tortured in the attacks on innocent civilians in Darfur, a part of the Sudan, and in the Congo, where tribes that are trying to control the minerals that go into our cell phones and computers are using violence against innocents to gain access to these precious minerals. You will recall that last year Ahavat Torah Congregation held an all-day information session about how to be more effective in making sure that Conflict-Free Minerals become the norm in affluent nations and that the rape and torture in the Congo is stopped.

Last year over 2,000 people from several synagogues, schools, and other groups participated in this walk sponsored by Jewish World Watch. We are hoping for an excellent show of support on April 10th so that the media and the political leaders will recognize this as something "that has a lot to do with us."



Even though Ahavat Torah is a relatively small congregation, we have had a large presence at many Jewish World Watch events and once again this year we will be meeting and walking together under the yellow Ahavat Torah banner created by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell. We will meet at 8:30 am at the Warner Center Park in Woodland Hills (there is free parking at 21725 Califa Street in the AMPCO parking facility) or you can meet up at 8 am at the Ahavat Torah parking lot in Brentwood to carpool.



Or if you cannot attend but want to donate to Jewish World Watch for their excellent work to build even larger coalitions for a reduction of violence in Darfur and the Congo, please visit the Jewish World Watch website or http://www.walktoendgenocide.org/



For more information about the inspiring presentation by Reverends Alan and Nancy Bean at 2 pm on Saturday, March 26th, you can contact Laurel Gord at laurelgord@gmail.com.



For more information about the April 10th Walk to End Genocide, you can contact Sasha Firman at sashafir@yahoo.com or Vivian Gold at vgold@ucla.edu.



But most importantly, don't let your tongue be tied by fear or hesitation when something touches your heart. We now have several teachers and several opportunities on how to get our voices heard.

A NEW EVENT NOT TO BE MISSED

Have you ever longed for an evening where your soul got nourished, your taste buds were smiling, and you felt transported to another place with a sense of timelessness?

Next Friday night, February 25th from 6:30 until 9 pm, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus will be leading the first-ever "Soul Shabbat" evening, sponsored by Ahavat Torah Congregation and open to anyone who has a soul, some taste buds, and a desire to try something new and different.

Originally scheduled for January, this creative approach to doing Shabbat in a new way had to be rescheduled for logistical reasons. But now all the elements are coming together for a beautiful evening in which numerous congregation members, friends, relatives, guests, and new acquaintances will join together to experience what Rabbi Miriam has described as, "The warmth and friendliness of a home-cooked Shabbat dinner with all the delicious foods, spiritual meaningfulness, and soul-nourishing conversations. But at a 'Soul Shabbat,' it will be done in a warm and welcoming room large enough for everyone gathered to feel the sense of love and peacefulness of Shabbat together as one."

The dinner, music, conversations, and celebration will be held in the Westwood Hills Congregational Church, 1989 Westwood Boulevard, 90025, which is on the corner of Westwood and LaGrange between Olympic and Santa Monica Boulevards. The gathering will include:

--delicious food prepared with love, including kosher chicken for the omnivores and numerous delicious choices for the vegetarians, along with appetizers and desserts from both the European and Sephardic traditions of Shabbat recipes. In other words, everything from soup to rugalah will be offered.

--live Klezmer music (with Gustavo Bulgach and his Klezmer Juice musicians who combine Eastern European, Latino, and world music rhythms), along with Hasidic storytelling and a lively discussion led by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who is also a renowned playwright and storyteller (her plays include "The Survivor," "The Orphan Train," and the stage version of "The Phantom Tollbooth.")

--inspiring teachings and conversations led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, who has been hosting wonderful dinners in her home for many years and now is bringing her wisdom and her warmth to a larger gathering.

--a participatory candle lighting and lots of participatory singing, including a guest cantor and the always-passionate voices of Ahavat Torah members and friends.

--a suggestion to wear white and feel a connection to your pure soul.

DETAILS: The dinner and evening costs $18 per person by mail (sent to Ahavat Torah Congregation, Post Office Box 442, Santa Monica CA 90406. Please note on your check that this is for the Soul Shabbat. Or you can pay by credit card with a 3% processing fee added if you call Arlene at 310 429-6817). Or there is a $20 charge per person at the door.

--VERY IMPORTANT: Please RSVP as soon as possible to make sure the volunteer shoppers, cooks, and balabusta team of women and men know how many people to cook for on Friday February 25th. Let Arlene and the team know the number of people who will be joining you (friends, family, colleagues) by calling 310 429-6817.

DON'T MISS THIS: Whether you've enjoyed two thousand Shabbat evenings or this is your first opportunity to experience the joy of letting go and breathing in holiness on a Friday night, you are welcome at this memorable and inspiring "Soul Shabbat." Until then, have a good week...a week of peace.

----For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation or its celebrations, the weekly Shabbat services, ongoing classes and study groups, social action programs, and cultural events, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/. Or call 310 362-1111 to receive the free weekly newsletter of events, classes, holidays, celebrations, and relevant teachings.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF SHABBAT

For several years, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell has had an idea that kept reappearing in her mind. Her recurring idea has been, "What if there were a way to experience the warmth and friendliness of a home-cooked Shabbat dinner with all the delicious foods, spiritual meaningfulness, and soul-nourishing conversations. But what if it could be done in a warm and welcoming room large enough for congregants, guests, good friends, and brand new visitors all to feel the sense of love and peacefulness of Shabbat together as one."



So Rabbi Miriam talked with the Board of Directors of her congregation and then brainstormed with Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who happens to be a Broadway playwright and Jewish storyteller along with being a soon-to-be rabbi. (Among Susan's many writings are The Survivor, The Orphan Train, and the stage version of The Phantom Tollbooth)



Together they came up with a new and different way of experiencing a unique "Soul Shabbat" that is happening for the very first time on Friday night, (at a date to be announced soon but not the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled) from 6:30 pm to 9 pm. All are welcome, whether you are a long-time congregant, an occasional visitor, a first-time guest, or someone who has never fully tasted the foods and spiritual depth of what Shabbat is capable of being.



WHAT EXACTLY IS A SOUL SHABBAT?


I interviewed Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus to ask them, "Why is this Shabbat different from most other Shabbats?"



Here's what they described as the key ingredients to this first of many "Soul Shabbats" (that will be held on the last Friday night of each month with a different creative theme each new month):



INGREDIENT #1: THE FOOD TO BE PREPARED WITH LOVE


Rabbi Miriam and Rabbinic Intern Susan have come up with a diverse menu for the Soul Shabbat as "the full spread from soup to rugalah, from hummus to brownies." There will be kosher and tender "balabusta" chicken for the omnivores and numerous delicious choices for the vegetarians. There will be Israeli appetizers and desserts that bring in the flavors of both the European and Sephardic traditions of Shabbat recipes.



But the rabbinic planners insist the key aspect of the food will be the love, wisdom and teamwork in the preparation process. In the weekly newsletter of Ahavat Torah Congregation recently, there was a small item that said, "Shabbat Cooking with Rabbi Miriam. So you always wanted to learn to cook and set-up a wonderful Friday night Shabbat table and dinner? Here is your opportunity at 2:30 pm on Friday (on the date of the rescheduled Soul Shabbat, but not on the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled). For this class, group size is limited to the first 6 callers."


Since this is an egalitarian congregation (especially when it comes to cooking and cleaning up), therefore men and women, great cooks as well as klutzes are all welcome in the cooking class. These 6 volunteers at the first Soul Shabbat will probably bond for life from braiding the challah bread and preparing the many courses of the meal together. Please don't worry if you aren't one of the first 6 callers to the Rabbi to RSVP to be at the first cooking class; your next chance will probably be in February and then you will be able to bond for life with your own cooking team of volunteers.


Rabbi Miriam also explained that because the food is being prepared with love, enjoyment, and teamwork, it will also be served family style at each table with every person who attends the Soul Shabbat being an equal partner in serving one another and being served these delicious treats.




INGREDIENT #2: THE ATMOSPHERIC STORY-TELLING AND MUSIC


In addition to the food, this Soul Shabbat will include an eye-opening and thought-provoking Hasidic story from Isaac Bashevis Singer, passionately adapted and told by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus and accompanied with traveling music from the well-known musical group Klezmer Juice. (The bandleader of Klezmer Juice is an Argentinian born Jew named Gustavo Bulgach who now lives in Los Angeles and travels internationally playing the melodies of Eastern Europe as well as Latino and world music rhythms).

When was the last time you went to a dinner that had live Klezmer music, Hasidic stories, and a beloved storyteller stirring up a lively discussion? By the end of the evening, you might be able to see your life's journey and your soul's longings in a new light as a result of this atmospheric story-telling.




INGREDIENT #3: THE BEAUTIFUL DEEPER MEANINGS OF EACH PART OF THE EVENING


At various moments during the evening, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will make each aspect of the Shabbat come alive for you and the people you are meeting at your table with a few words about the kavanot (or deeper meanings and holy intentions) of the candle lighting, the prayers, the connecting rituals, and the songs we will enjoy together.

It doesn't matter whether this is your first Shabbat dinner or your two thousandth Shabbat dinner. The brief teachings, discussions, and deeper meanings will be accessible and inspiring no matter what background or experiences you bring to the evening. You will probably find that your future Shabbat dinners (that you host or attend in your own style) will be enhanced by what you learn at this Soul Shabbat.



INGREDIENT #4: THE SENSE OF BEAUTY AND WHOLENESS

One of the themes of any Jewish Shabbat is to envision and practice what it will feel like when the world is healed and we are all living in harmony. So at this Soul Shabbat evening, you are encouraged to wear a white shirt or a white blouse or outfit. You will see flowers and other special preparations to make this night a bit different from the other nights of the week. You will look into caring faces and hear inspiring words that you might not be seeing or hearing on most other nights. You will be part of a unique gathering where each voice is treated with respect and each person's point of view is heard with openness.


Ahavat Torah Congregation was formed only eight years ago with the intention of creating a community of "One Torah, One People, Many Teachers." With participants from all branches of Judaism, this new congregation has been growing each year because it keeps coming up with innovative ways to respect the diversity among us while at the same time honoring and learning more about the wisdom of our traditions. In this congregation, there doesn't tend to be a hierarchy of insiders and outsiders, big makhers and little makhers, because each person is treated as someone with gifts and insights to share.




HOW TO RSVP (and please respond AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because space is limited):


If you would like to experience the first ever Soul Shabbat dinner and evening, or to invite a few friends or family members to join you, all you need to do is call Arlene at 310 429-6817 or email arlenesid@gmail.com. The suggested donation at the door is $18 per person for the food and the sacred space we are creating together. If you are feeling generous, you are welcome to donate more than $18 toward the creation of this new event. Or if you are feeling concerned about funds lately, please give whatever you can afford, and you can trust that someone else will make up the difference.



DIRECTIONS TO AHAVAT TORAH CONGREGATION AT 343 CHURCH LANE IN BRENTWOOD:

The social hall of the building at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood 90049 is just west of the 405 Freeway a half mile south of Sunset Blvd., one block west of Sepulveda Blvd, and one block north of Montana. If you are travelling north on Sepulveda you pass Wilshire and turn left a half mile north of Wilshire onto Montana (which has a traffic light). After taking Montana Avenue under the 405 bridge, you turn right quickly on Church Lane. You will see the building in one short block and there are two small parking lots that fill up quickly as well as street parking.


PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: The January 28th Soul Shabbat had to be rescheduled. Details for the next Soul Shabbat date will be coming soon.


--For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.



--To receive the free weekly newsletter of events, classes, services, rabbinic teachings, and social action projects, please visit the website or call 310 362-1111.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

Once upon a time, people used to sit at home and wait for Ed Sullivan or Oprah Winfrey to decide what was inspiring and worth viewing. But now with so many diverse choices and so little time to waste, many people have become more selective as to what they find inspiring and what they want to spend time viewing.

One of the benefits of being involved in a community of intelligent and creative adults in West Los Angeles in 2010 is that you get to learn about new and interesting ways of being inspired. For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood/Westwood, a diverse community founded in 2003 and based on the idea of "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers," there are numerous choices each month that can connect you with artistic, spiritual, intellectual, and joyful moments of celebrating life in all its diversity.

SOME WONDERFUL OPTIONS

If you just look at the two months of October and November 2010, you will find that there are an amazing number of ways to nourish your soul, your mind, and your health by the offerings of this small but very active congregation.

On October 10th there was a salon discussion with two remarkable poets. One is Jean Katz, the former President of Ahavat Torah Congregation, who for many years has been writing and publishing well-crafted poems that sort out the chaotic feelings of being a wise and vulnerable woman and she turns these emotions into thought-provoking word portraits that capture what all of us go through during the ups and downs of life. The second poet at that sold-out salon on October 10th was Florence Weinberger, the aunt of Ahavat Torah member Judith Weinberger, and the author of numerous highly-praised books of poetry.

On Tuesday night October 5th and Tuesday night October 12th from 7-9 pm, there is a prayer-meditation-movement workshop with Ahavat Torah member Paulette Rochelle-Levy, entitled "Dancing with the Divine." In the Fireside Room of the Temple at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, she explores how to combine breathing, movement, prayer and meditation to draw closer to the One who connects us all. RSVP to Paulette at 310 453-4053 or Paulette453@earthlink.net.

On Tuesday nights October 26th, November 9th, November 16th, November 23rd, and November 30th from 7-9 pm in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a class and discussion about Martin Buber, the author of "I and Thou" on how to find ourselves and deepen our aliveness and purpose through our relationship with the Eternal One. It will be led by Ahavat Torah member Sophia Avants, currently a graduate student at American Jewish University. The first class is open to all and Sophia will begin with a biographical introduction to Buber and the Chassidic influences on his theories. RSVP to Sophia at 323 934-4757 or savants@ajula.edu.

On Sunday, October 31st from 2-5 pm at the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a viewing of the Israeli film "Sweet Mud" (Adama Meshuga'at with sub-titles) and then a discussion of how it compares and contrasts to the film "Never Let Me Go," which participants should go see prior to October 31st at a local theatre. RSVP to Aharon at 310 827-4902 or anachshon.astext@att.net.

On Sunday, November 7th at 2pm at the Electric Lodge in Venice, the play "The Survivor" will be performed. Written by Ahavat Torah Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who has written numerous produced scripts for live theatre and for TV and film, it is based on the memoirs of holocaust survivor Jack Eisner and it is the true story of a gang of teenage smugglers in the Warsaw Ghetto. To reserve seats, send a check for $28 per person to Shoshi Wilchfort at 2354 Roscomare Road, Los Angeles 90077. There will be a wine and cheese reception and discussion after the play with some of the actors, Rabbi Miriam and the playwright Susan Nanus.

If all those creative choices make you feel like taking a relaxing break, then you'll definitely want to sign up for the Ahavat Torah Retreat Weekend which will be from Friday night November 19th until Sunday afternoon November 21st at the beautiful Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. Imagine yourself unwinding and being nourished by good food, inspiring services, great discussions, quiet moments, and fun arts and music activities with a welcoming community that weekend in a tranquil setting where there are ducks, trees, strolling walking trails, and a sense of holiness away from the city streets.

Please see the weekly newsletter for details on the Retreat and all the other events listed above.

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Ahavat Torah Congregation meets each Saturday morning at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood for a Mussar (ethics) class at 9 am prior to the lively participatory Shabbat services at 10 am followed by a pot luck dairy lunch. All are welcome.

For more information, please log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or call 310 362-1111.

CAN ONE PERSON ENJOY TWO CONGREGATIONS?

A few months ago a friend told me, "I feel guilty sometimes. I belonged to one well-known congregation for many years and recently I've been attending events and getting to know people at a different congregation that is much more warm and welcoming. Am I the Jewish equivalent of a Carolina politician (maybe John Edwards or Mark Sanford)? Or is it o.k. to enjoy two different communities?"

My initial reaction was to admit to my friend that I've been in the same situation several times myself. Even though I've been monogamous with my beloved wife Linda for over 30 years, I've enjoyed learning from several different congregations and teachers (sometimes as a full member and sometimes as a visitor paying a la carte). In addition, there were many years when my wife and I joined one congregation for our adult spiritual needs while belonging (at a reduced rate) to a second congregation for our son's educational needs.

What about you?

In the bountiful spiritual buffet of greater Los Angeles, should it be considered an act of disloyalty or an act of spiritual integrity to enjoy the diverse offerings of more than one congregation during the same time period?

To explore this question, I interviewed several women and men from the relatively new congregation, Ahavat Torah in Brentwood/Westwood, where I've been a member since 2004. I wanted to ask specific individuals (who sometimes say in more than one venue, "Mah tovu, how good are your dwelling places") to let them clarify why they do what they do. Their names and identifying details have been kept confidential. But you might find their insights and experiences helpful as we each explore our own journey for finding wholeness, wisdom, community, warmth, support, and Jewish aliveness in this diverse City of Angels.

Here is what I discovered from these interviews:

A FEELING OF 'HOME' AWAY FROM HOME

Several people told me they consider Ahavat Torah to be their "home congregation" while another community feels like "the congregation where I have a historical connection, but it doesn't feel as warm and welcoming now."

For instance, one woman admitted, "I was active at a particular congregation for many years and even got involved in the Sisterhood and other committees. Yet it didn't satisfy my developing needs of more intimate settings for study, prayer, and social action. So I began to consider Ahavat Torah my home because I have felt far more warmth there for my particular experiences, ideas, and personal needs. I can express my more spiritual and creative sides at Ahavat Torah and there's freedom to think 'outside the box' in this open-minded community, much more than at my other congregation."

Another woman suggested, "I had always felt like an outsider in a few particular large temples where there was so much pressure to look fancy and compete for status. But then a few years ago I found out it's possible to build a new kind of community that is more about honoring each person's unique soul and creative gifts. I finally feel like I've found a place that is 'home' now whenever I show up and join in with the passionate singing and the genuine conversations with people who truly care."

JUGGLING MORE THAN ONE FEE

Another man told me, "I grew up at a very prominent congregation where for many years I didn't enjoy much of what was going on, but it was my familiar and slightly-dysfunctional community nonetheless. I still have a bit of an allegiance to that congregation and so I pay an associate member fee to them. Then I began to connect with the way Gary Levine leads the services at Ahavat Torah with so much enthusiasm and joy. And I love the fact that Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and each of the other teachers are so inclusive and open in making the Torah portions extremely relevant and interesting. I decided to join their smaller congregation as a full member because Ahavat Torah dues are relatively inexpensive and my involvement with them consistently helps me to connect with Jewish insights and celebrations in a much more heartful way than I've ever done before."

Another woman explained, "I still meet with a monthly study group from another community and I pay an associate membership fee to that synagogue as a way to support the rabbi and her work. But Ahavat Torah is my home synagogue because of Gary's music and Rabbi Miriam being such a model of compassion, kindness and support to so many members. Plus I love the Social Action projects we do at Ahavat Torah and how the salons and classes and cultural events enrich my life."

IT'S ABOUT WARMTH AND BEING APPRECIATED FOR WHO YOU ARE

One woman who has sampled several local congregations commented, "The love, support, friendships, and creativity of the people I meet at Ahavat Torah have made me far more involved here than at the other places where I sometimes go for a specific event or lecture. Plus the fact that we as a congregation have designed our own easy-to-follow prayer book that makes it a lot more enjoyable to participate in Saturday morning services. More than anything, I feel a sense of family here."

I also interviewed a married couple at Ahavat Torah who attend lectures, music and cultural events at various temples throughout Los Angeles County. Yet they pay dues just at one congregation, Ahavat Torah, as they explained, "We love being part of a diverse and interesting Jewish community in Los Angeles, but we feel there's only one place where the warmth and genuine friendships occurred most easily. It's about much more than stimulation for the mind; it's about finding a group of people who respect the diversity of each individual soul."

One other woman admitted, "My parents were anti-religious so I didn't grow up attending Jewish services. Much of my adult life was involved in interfaith groups. But at Ahavat Torah I felt welcomed and included from the start, probably because it is such a grounded, functional, caring community. I very quickly started to feel a sense of being seen and appreciated for the unique person that I am. So I began to focus on doing more at Ahavat Torah and cutting back somewhat on my other spiritual involvements. Yet I have never felt judged or pressured at Ahavat Torah while I gradually decided to become a full member."

IS IT GEOGRAPHIC OR SOMETHING MORE PERSONAL?

I only found one man who had felt judged or criticized for participating in two different congregations. He told me, "I used to attend services sometimes at a place that was very near to where I live. But I rarely felt a personal connection to the Rabbi or the big machers who were always telling people what to do. So then I began to look at other congregations and when I returned one week to my neighborhood synagogue there were a few people who treated me like I'd done something disloyal or immoral. That was the week I decided to keep going the extra miles and become more involved with Ahavat Torah. The Rabbi, the Cantor, the board members, and the many volunteers each have a strong sense of openness and warmth that make it meaningful and enriching each time I come to an event. What a relief to find a congregation that is supportive and inclusive for every type of individual, whether you have money or not, whether you have a lot of Jewish experience or not, and whether you are a big macher or a humble and gentle soul."

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation: One Torah, One People, Many Teachers, you can visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or read the personal weblog articles at http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/.

Lively, inspiring, and interactive Shabbat services are held each Saturday morning at 10 am at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, 2 blocks west of Sepulveda, 1 block west of the 405 Freeway, between Sunset Blvd and Montana Avenue.

Prior to the Shabbat services, everyone is welcome at a Mussar ethics class that meets from 9-10am in the Fireside Room adjacent to the Sanctuary.

After services, there is a dairy pot-luck lunch buffet that is free and welcome to all.

To get on the email list to receive weekly announcements of classes, events, holiday celebrations, salon discussion groups, music events, book groups, social action projects, and other ways of connecting, please send your address to Dr. Julie at jgmmd@roadrunner.com.