NO LONGER FEELING LIKE A STRANGER

In recent years, several sociologists have studied what makes people feel welcomed into a congregation and what makes them feel like a stranger or an outsider. If you ever have been relatively new to a synagogue, you probably know the feeling. You can say "Shabbat Shalom" or "L'shanah tovah" to several men and women you barely know year after year, but you still might be feeling like you don't quite belong there...until something deeper happens that makes you feel connected intimately and personally with one or more members of the congregation.





What exactly can change the feeling of being a stranger and turn it into the feeling of being appreciated, cared about deeply, and included consistently?





ONE SUCCESSFUL WAY TO BECOME LESS ISOLATED





At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, there are numerous ways that this not-very-large but extremely-warm-and-welcoming group of people break down the barriers and make it possible for intimacy and connection to occur. Several members of the congregation will volunteer to host a variety of small but lively Shabbat dinners at their homes. Numerous members and non-members will be signing up and joining them as welcomed guests to enjoy the candles, the food, the conversations, and the intimacy of an at-home Shabbat gathering.





But how does it work? How in a large spread-out city like Los Angeles and in a medium-sized congregation like Ahavat Torah can the feeling of isolation and distance get transformed into a beautiful and memorable feeling of enjoying Shabbat with 6 or 10 or 14 people in a warm and welcoming home-cooked setting?





THE EXQUISITE LOGISTICS





The idea of creating at-home Shabbat dinners for members and non-members to enjoy in small groups began soon after Ahavat Torah formed 8 years ago. Arlene Rosenblatt started the tradition and she recalls, "It just seemed to be consistent with who we are. That we want to be able to get to know each other better and care about one another in a more personal way than you find at many larger temples." Arlene also wanted to make sure that the gatherings help people get to know men, women and families who live not too far from one another so that friendships and closeness could naturally develop.

Then for several years, Judy Weintraub helped to organize these Shabbat circles of warmth and celebration at various homes. Two or three times a year she would put out the word that several people were opening up their homes for honored guests to join them for a Shabbat gathering. Then during the candles, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of holiness, some friendships would begin or deepen, and many of the feelings of distance or isolation would dissolve away for those who were relatively new to the congregation or who had not yet found the chance to connect intimately with other participants from the congregation.













MEMORIES AND NEW EXPERIENCES





Many members of Ahavat Torah Congregation can recall the wonderful feeling of being at the Shabbat dinners hosted by Gene, Marvin, and Kimball Marsh for many years at their home in the Fairfax district. At these warm and thought-provoking gatherings, the food, the songs, the conversations, and the sense of extended family created soulful memories that numerous congregants will never forget.










THE SOONER THE BETTER






Most of all, I hope you have a joyous and memorable Shabbat experience on an upcoming Friday night (watch the newsletter for details) and that it becomes the beginning (or the deepening) of some nourishing friendships.

Are You a Joiner, a Loner, or a Hybrid?

Usually each month this weblog describes one of the upcoming activities of our congregation. But this month it will explore why some of us are very active in group activities, why some of us prefer quiet and solitude, and why many of us enjoy a combination of quiet time and connecting time.





First, a quiz. As you think about your own personality and preferences, do you consider yourself:


--a joiner or an extravert who draws strength and energy from being part of a group or from connecting with numerous other people.


--a loner or an introvert who draws strength and energy from being apart from groups and having quiet solitude or you prefer one-on-one conversations rather than groups.


--a hybrid of the two, in which sometimes you turn on the gas to be part of a group and sometimes you cruise comfortably in private or alone moments.



THE JOINER'S POINT OF VIEW


In Judaism there is a lot of emphasis on the healing power of community. We bring mass quantities of food and conversation to people who are in mourning. We bring lots of family, friends, and strangers to our Seder tables and Shabbat dinners. We study the Torah together, we study Mussar ethics and character-improvement together, and we learn from one another constantly how to bring holiness and repair into the world. Especially in a loving community like Ahavat Torah Congregation, we reach out to one another during illnesses, setbacks, and tragedies. We also join together to celebrate and appreciate each other's birthdays, life cycle events, and triumphs over adversity.

THE BENEFITS OF SOLITUDE

On the other hand, many of us (myself included) are by nature introverts who re-charge our batteries more by quiet time alone or with one person at a time, rather than being thrust into group situations where the extraverts are more comfortable than we are.

In my own case, I was so much of an introvert when I was a teenager and my mom was dying of cancer, that I remember two songs on the radio for which I had a very strong reaction. The first was Barbra Streisand's "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world" (which I and many other introverts found to be the most threatening and uncomfortable idea imaginable). The second song was Simon and Garfunkel's "I am a rock, I am an island...and a rock feels no pain and an island never cries" (which I admit I secretly aspired to when I was a teen trying to become self-reliant).

Fortunately, time and experience have helped me to become more of a hybrid who still prefers alone time or one-on-one conversations, but I am finding that I learn more and grow more when I push myself to be part of group classes, group activities, or group prayers and meditations.

One of the things I love most about Ahavat Torah Congregation is that each month there are several choices of activities that appeal to the healing power of community along with respecting the diversity and uniqueness of each individual, whether we tend to be an introvert, an extravert, or a hybrid combination of the two.

CHOOSING WISELY EACH MONTH

Every seven days Dr. Julie Madorsky sends out a newsletter that is filled with beautiful illustrations and enticing descriptions of a variety of opportunities to nourish one's soul through the classes, activities, celebrations, discussion groups, and lively spiritual gatherings of Ahavat Torah Congregation.

Some people don't open the newsletter attachment. Some people open it and feel overwhelmed by the array of choices. Others pick and choose carefully so that each month they enjoy one, two, or more of the inspiring options being offered by this intimate but extremely active congregation.

Whether you are by nature a joiner, a loner, or a hybrid combination of these two traits, here is a suggestion on how to respond to the weekly newsletter sent to you through cyberspace and the weekly announcements you hear at the end of Shabbat services:

--Start by a kavannah or intention that says to yourself silently, "Somewhere in this list of activities and options is something that will be uplifting, memorable, and transformative for my soul in the next few weeks. Sh'ma, listen silently and carefully to which of these choices calls to my soul."

--Then make a commitment to yourself, write on your calendar, and RSVP for the one, two or three activities that call deeply to you.

--Make sure to invite one or two friends, relatives, or colleagues to join you at one or more of these events so that their souls also will be nourished and you will deepen your connection to these individuals through sharing these meaningful and inspiring moments with them.

--Without overcommitting your calendar or burning out, make sure you add to your life each month something that opens your mind, opens your heart, adds to your depth of Jewishness, and connects you with the Source that flows through each of these activities and each of these moments of connection. We are extremely blessed that we have so many exquisite choices in our busy lives. Even if sometimes you feel as if there is too much happening or too many choices, as Rabbi Miriam would say, "These are holy struggles."

Shavuah tov. May you and your loved ones have a very good week.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF SHABBAT

For several years, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell has had an idea that kept reappearing in her mind. Her recurring idea has been, "What if there were a way to experience the warmth and friendliness of a home-cooked Shabbat dinner with all the delicious foods, spiritual meaningfulness, and soul-nourishing conversations. But what if it could be done in a warm and welcoming room large enough for congregants, guests, good friends, and brand new visitors all to feel the sense of love and peacefulness of Shabbat together as one."



So Rabbi Miriam talked with the Board of Directors of her congregation and then brainstormed with Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who happens to be a Broadway playwright and Jewish storyteller along with being a soon-to-be rabbi. (Among Susan's many writings are The Survivor, The Orphan Train, and the stage version of The Phantom Tollbooth)



Together they came up with a new and different way of experiencing a unique "Soul Shabbat" that is happening for the very first time on Friday night, (at a date to be announced soon but not the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled) from 6:30 pm to 9 pm. All are welcome, whether you are a long-time congregant, an occasional visitor, a first-time guest, or someone who has never fully tasted the foods and spiritual depth of what Shabbat is capable of being.



WHAT EXACTLY IS A SOUL SHABBAT?


I interviewed Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus to ask them, "Why is this Shabbat different from most other Shabbats?"



Here's what they described as the key ingredients to this first of many "Soul Shabbats" (that will be held on the last Friday night of each month with a different creative theme each new month):



INGREDIENT #1: THE FOOD TO BE PREPARED WITH LOVE


Rabbi Miriam and Rabbinic Intern Susan have come up with a diverse menu for the Soul Shabbat as "the full spread from soup to rugalah, from hummus to brownies." There will be kosher and tender "balabusta" chicken for the omnivores and numerous delicious choices for the vegetarians. There will be Israeli appetizers and desserts that bring in the flavors of both the European and Sephardic traditions of Shabbat recipes.



But the rabbinic planners insist the key aspect of the food will be the love, wisdom and teamwork in the preparation process. In the weekly newsletter of Ahavat Torah Congregation recently, there was a small item that said, "Shabbat Cooking with Rabbi Miriam. So you always wanted to learn to cook and set-up a wonderful Friday night Shabbat table and dinner? Here is your opportunity at 2:30 pm on Friday (on the date of the rescheduled Soul Shabbat, but not on the January 28th date that needed to be rescheduled). For this class, group size is limited to the first 6 callers."


Since this is an egalitarian congregation (especially when it comes to cooking and cleaning up), therefore men and women, great cooks as well as klutzes are all welcome in the cooking class. These 6 volunteers at the first Soul Shabbat will probably bond for life from braiding the challah bread and preparing the many courses of the meal together. Please don't worry if you aren't one of the first 6 callers to the Rabbi to RSVP to be at the first cooking class; your next chance will probably be in February and then you will be able to bond for life with your own cooking team of volunteers.


Rabbi Miriam also explained that because the food is being prepared with love, enjoyment, and teamwork, it will also be served family style at each table with every person who attends the Soul Shabbat being an equal partner in serving one another and being served these delicious treats.




INGREDIENT #2: THE ATMOSPHERIC STORY-TELLING AND MUSIC


In addition to the food, this Soul Shabbat will include an eye-opening and thought-provoking Hasidic story from Isaac Bashevis Singer, passionately adapted and told by Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus and accompanied with traveling music from the well-known musical group Klezmer Juice. (The bandleader of Klezmer Juice is an Argentinian born Jew named Gustavo Bulgach who now lives in Los Angeles and travels internationally playing the melodies of Eastern Europe as well as Latino and world music rhythms).

When was the last time you went to a dinner that had live Klezmer music, Hasidic stories, and a beloved storyteller stirring up a lively discussion? By the end of the evening, you might be able to see your life's journey and your soul's longings in a new light as a result of this atmospheric story-telling.




INGREDIENT #3: THE BEAUTIFUL DEEPER MEANINGS OF EACH PART OF THE EVENING


At various moments during the evening, Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will make each aspect of the Shabbat come alive for you and the people you are meeting at your table with a few words about the kavanot (or deeper meanings and holy intentions) of the candle lighting, the prayers, the connecting rituals, and the songs we will enjoy together.

It doesn't matter whether this is your first Shabbat dinner or your two thousandth Shabbat dinner. The brief teachings, discussions, and deeper meanings will be accessible and inspiring no matter what background or experiences you bring to the evening. You will probably find that your future Shabbat dinners (that you host or attend in your own style) will be enhanced by what you learn at this Soul Shabbat.



INGREDIENT #4: THE SENSE OF BEAUTY AND WHOLENESS

One of the themes of any Jewish Shabbat is to envision and practice what it will feel like when the world is healed and we are all living in harmony. So at this Soul Shabbat evening, you are encouraged to wear a white shirt or a white blouse or outfit. You will see flowers and other special preparations to make this night a bit different from the other nights of the week. You will look into caring faces and hear inspiring words that you might not be seeing or hearing on most other nights. You will be part of a unique gathering where each voice is treated with respect and each person's point of view is heard with openness.


Ahavat Torah Congregation was formed only eight years ago with the intention of creating a community of "One Torah, One People, Many Teachers." With participants from all branches of Judaism, this new congregation has been growing each year because it keeps coming up with innovative ways to respect the diversity among us while at the same time honoring and learning more about the wisdom of our traditions. In this congregation, there doesn't tend to be a hierarchy of insiders and outsiders, big makhers and little makhers, because each person is treated as someone with gifts and insights to share.




HOW TO RSVP (and please respond AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because space is limited):


If you would like to experience the first ever Soul Shabbat dinner and evening, or to invite a few friends or family members to join you, all you need to do is call Arlene at 310 429-6817 or email arlenesid@gmail.com. The suggested donation at the door is $18 per person for the food and the sacred space we are creating together. If you are feeling generous, you are welcome to donate more than $18 toward the creation of this new event. Or if you are feeling concerned about funds lately, please give whatever you can afford, and you can trust that someone else will make up the difference.



DIRECTIONS TO AHAVAT TORAH CONGREGATION AT 343 CHURCH LANE IN BRENTWOOD:

The social hall of the building at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood 90049 is just west of the 405 Freeway a half mile south of Sunset Blvd., one block west of Sepulveda Blvd, and one block north of Montana. If you are travelling north on Sepulveda you pass Wilshire and turn left a half mile north of Wilshire onto Montana (which has a traffic light). After taking Montana Avenue under the 405 bridge, you turn right quickly on Church Lane. You will see the building in one short block and there are two small parking lots that fill up quickly as well as street parking.


PLEASE NOTE ONCE AGAIN: The January 28th Soul Shabbat had to be rescheduled. Details for the next Soul Shabbat date will be coming soon.


--For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.



--To receive the free weekly newsletter of events, classes, services, rabbinic teachings, and social action projects, please visit the website or call 310 362-1111.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

Once upon a time, people used to sit at home and wait for Ed Sullivan or Oprah Winfrey to decide what was inspiring and worth viewing. But now with so many diverse choices and so little time to waste, many people have become more selective as to what they find inspiring and what they want to spend time viewing.

One of the benefits of being involved in a community of intelligent and creative adults in West Los Angeles in 2010 is that you get to learn about new and interesting ways of being inspired. For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood/Westwood, a diverse community founded in 2003 and based on the idea of "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers," there are numerous choices each month that can connect you with artistic, spiritual, intellectual, and joyful moments of celebrating life in all its diversity.

SOME WONDERFUL OPTIONS

If you just look at the two months of October and November 2010, you will find that there are an amazing number of ways to nourish your soul, your mind, and your health by the offerings of this small but very active congregation.

On October 10th there was a salon discussion with two remarkable poets. One is Jean Katz, the former President of Ahavat Torah Congregation, who for many years has been writing and publishing well-crafted poems that sort out the chaotic feelings of being a wise and vulnerable woman and she turns these emotions into thought-provoking word portraits that capture what all of us go through during the ups and downs of life. The second poet at that sold-out salon on October 10th was Florence Weinberger, the aunt of Ahavat Torah member Judith Weinberger, and the author of numerous highly-praised books of poetry.

On Tuesday night October 5th and Tuesday night October 12th from 7-9 pm, there is a prayer-meditation-movement workshop with Ahavat Torah member Paulette Rochelle-Levy, entitled "Dancing with the Divine." In the Fireside Room of the Temple at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood, she explores how to combine breathing, movement, prayer and meditation to draw closer to the One who connects us all. RSVP to Paulette at 310 453-4053 or Paulette453@earthlink.net.

On Tuesday nights October 26th, November 9th, November 16th, November 23rd, and November 30th from 7-9 pm in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a class and discussion about Martin Buber, the author of "I and Thou" on how to find ourselves and deepen our aliveness and purpose through our relationship with the Eternal One. It will be led by Ahavat Torah member Sophia Avants, currently a graduate student at American Jewish University. The first class is open to all and Sophia will begin with a biographical introduction to Buber and the Chassidic influences on his theories. RSVP to Sophia at 323 934-4757 or savants@ajula.edu.

On Sunday, October 31st from 2-5 pm at the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane, there will be a viewing of the Israeli film "Sweet Mud" (Adama Meshuga'at with sub-titles) and then a discussion of how it compares and contrasts to the film "Never Let Me Go," which participants should go see prior to October 31st at a local theatre. RSVP to Aharon at 310 827-4902 or anachshon.astext@att.net.

On Sunday, November 7th at 2pm at the Electric Lodge in Venice, the play "The Survivor" will be performed. Written by Ahavat Torah Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, who has written numerous produced scripts for live theatre and for TV and film, it is based on the memoirs of holocaust survivor Jack Eisner and it is the true story of a gang of teenage smugglers in the Warsaw Ghetto. To reserve seats, send a check for $28 per person to Shoshi Wilchfort at 2354 Roscomare Road, Los Angeles 90077. There will be a wine and cheese reception and discussion after the play with some of the actors, Rabbi Miriam and the playwright Susan Nanus.

If all those creative choices make you feel like taking a relaxing break, then you'll definitely want to sign up for the Ahavat Torah Retreat Weekend which will be from Friday night November 19th until Sunday afternoon November 21st at the beautiful Holy Spirit Retreat Center in Encino. Imagine yourself unwinding and being nourished by good food, inspiring services, great discussions, quiet moments, and fun arts and music activities with a welcoming community that weekend in a tranquil setting where there are ducks, trees, strolling walking trails, and a sense of holiness away from the city streets.

Please see the weekly newsletter for details on the Retreat and all the other events listed above.

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Ahavat Torah Congregation meets each Saturday morning at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood for a Mussar (ethics) class at 9 am prior to the lively participatory Shabbat services at 10 am followed by a pot luck dairy lunch. All are welcome.

For more information, please log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or call 310 362-1111.

WHY ARE THE HIGH HOLY DAYS SO EARLY THIS YEAR?

Gertrude Stein said, "A rose is a rose is a rose." But if you think about it, a calendar is not a calendar is not a calendar. In fact, most Jews living in the United States have at least two different calendars that sometimes are telling us quite different things.

For example, as American Jews living in a mostly-accepting country that is 90% Christian and that has its roots in Rome, we tend to think of a year as something that is organized into 365 days. This solar calendar format was created arbitrarily (first by Julius Caesar in ancient Rome and later revised by Pope Gregory XIII in the 16th century) into 12 months of varying lengths--31 days in some months, 30 in others, 28 in February with an added day every four years. These Roman and Christian leaders issued decrees saying everyone must follow the Julian/Gregorian Calendar which begins each year a few days after Christmas.

So if we want to function well in a business or social world where most cell phones, iPods, Blackberry's, wall calendars, and pocket calendars are organized according to the Julian/Gregorian rules, then we probably need to utilize this Rome-decreed solar format that says confusing things about the Jewish holidays such as, "Rosh Hashanah is in October during some years and in late September in other years, but in a rare few years the Jewish new year is as early as the evening of September 8, 2010 and the day of September 9, 2010." For our kids and grandkids, nieces and nephews, that means this year that the shofar is blowing at the same time they are purchasing new pencils and erasers.

WHAT DETERMINES THE HEBREW CALENDAR?

The reason for this annual disparity between the calendar of the American marketplace and the calendar of the Jewish soul is that in Judaism there is a profound and holy system of counting the days. Unlike the Julian/Gregorian calendar that forces each solar year into 365.25 days with months of varying man-made lengths, the Hebrew calendar connects us with the natural cycles of the moon and the agricultural seasons.

Each month there are a few dark nights when the new moon (and the new Hebrew month) have just begun to reflect the hidden light. Then there are a few weeks of increasing light in the night sky, followed by a full moon that makes the oceans and our pulses vibrate a little stronger than usual, and then a slowly declining amount of brightness at night until another new Hebrew month (and another hard-to-see new moon) occurs.

The Hebrew calendar is based on the Torah teachings of the spiritual, agricultural, and deeply personal cycles of our lives. Every 19 years there are 235 lunar months, with an extra lunar month added every 2 or 3 years. The ancient rabbis created a carefully-calibrated mathematical formula to add these extra lunar months every few years to make sure that natural events (the ripening of crops, the annual harvests, the arrival of the morning dew, the cycles of the rainy months, and the celebrations of the world-wide Jewish community) occur at the same time each year.

A TRICK QUESTION: IS ROSH HASHANAH REALLY EARLY THIS YEAR?

If you stop for a moment and think about the fact that Rosh Hashanah is much earlier in 2010 (showing up on September 8th and 9th according to the Julian/Gregorian calendar), it feels odd from a solar/American viewpoint. But on the Hebrew calendar, the holy day of Rosh Hashanah (the head of the year) shows up exactly where it always has been showing up for thousands of years--right there on the First of the month of Tishrei (a Hebrew word that means 'the beginning') when we step out of commodity time and instead find a holy way to appreciate the awe-inspiring Creative Flow that is continually taking place with every act of kindness, creativity, and renewal that we experience daily.

In ancient times, Rosh Hashanah was always on the First of Tishrei. In Los Angeles in 2010 it will also be on the First of Tishrei of the year 5771. Try telling that to your iPod or your Blackberry way of viewing time, which on some deep level might be freaking out and saying things like, "Wow, it sure seems early this year" or "Where do I get the apps for knowing clearly that a new chapter of my life can begin on the First of Tishrei 5771?"

YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO GET READY

Even though the beautiful melodies, the deeply insightful teachings, and the soul-stirring meditations of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur will show up much sooner than your American mind-set might have been expecting this year, please don't worry. There is still time to get ready for your honest and revealing one-on-One chats with "the still small Voice within" or with "the mysterious Presence that is creating the world constantly and eternally." The Jewish calendar gives us several inspiring ways to start doing the profound inner searching of exactly how we want to repair what's out of synch in our lives so we can enter the new year with more clarity, compassion, and strength.

For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation on the Westside of Los Angeles, there are going to be several "everyone is welcome" opportunities to go deeper into your own inner life and clarify what will make the new year even more fulfilling and meaningful than the previous year. Led by Rabbi Miriam Hamrell, Cantorial Soloist Gary Levine, Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus, and others, the pre-holiday classes and the Days of Awe gatherings are designed to celebrate the precious gift of life, the struggle to deal with our human distractions, and the chance to turn toward an even more connected and positive life during the New Year 5771.

WHAT'S ON YOUR CALENDAR?

Specifically, there are several events that will be extremely inspiring and useful for anyone who has celebrated a traditional Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur before and also for those who are going deeper into Jewish spirituality and personal growth for the first time in your adult life. These gatherings (for members and non-members of this diverse and non-judgmental congregation) are:

(No guilt trips here. You can attend some or all of these upcoming events...)

TWO SPIRITUAL PREPARATION OPPORTUNITIES. On Tuesday night August 17th and Tuesday night August 31st from 7-9 p.m. in the Fireside Room of 343 Church Lane in Brentwood. These classes with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell and Rabbinic Intern Susan Nanus will focus on "Preparing Your Heart for the High Holy Days" and will deal with huge questions such as the background of the High Holy Day prayer, "Who by Fire" which explores the mysteries of what is free will and what is determined. Make sure to check the Ahavat Torah weekly newsletter for details. (If you want to receive this colorful and informative weekly newsletter, please contact Dr. Julie at jgmmd@roadrunner.com)

LETTING GO AND BEING RENEWED IN THE MIKVAH. Rabbi Miriam Hamrell will once again guide a group of members and non-members to experience the holy waters of the Mikvah at American Jewish University (near Mulholland and Sepulveda) during the first week of September. There's nothing quite like immersing yourself in living waters to begin the new year in a profound way (especially if you've never done it before). Watch the weekly newsletter for details and how to sign up for this unique opportunity.

SELICHOT SERVICES. In a beautiful and intimate prayer service and discussion on the Saturday evening (7-9 p.m. on September 4th) the week prior to Rosh Hashanah, we will gather to explore the deeper meanings and sacred melodies of forgiveness and the steps for turning in a more positive direction. All are invited. For details, watch the newsletter.

EREV ROSH HASHANAH and ROSH HASHANAH DAY. Come experience the powerful music, the profound questions, the warmth of the congregation, the sacred prayers and meditations, the respect for diverse viewpoints, and the chance to begin the New Year with forgiveness, healing, and strength. Please plan ahead of time to bring a friend, loved one, or colleague to join our passionate participatory singing and the inspiring, easy-to-follow services held in the beautiful sanctuary of Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica. Wednesday night, September 8th from 7-9 p.m. and Thursday, September 9th from 10 a.m. - 12:45 p.m. Visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111 for details and low-cost fees for members and non-members. Please RSVP for yourself and your guests as soon as possible so that the planners of the services will be able to prepare for a sizeable gathering.

TASHLICH AND LUNCH. On the afternoon of Rosh Hashanah, join us for a friendly and enjoyable lunch at the Rosenblatt's home near the beach in Santa Monica followed by a stroll to the ocean where we will make tangible and mindful the specific things we choose to let go of this year and the things we want to renew or strengthen. The lunch is at approximately 2 p.m. and the Tashlich ocean-front service and meditation (while tossing bread crumbs into the waters) will follow the lunch and be over by approximately 4 p.m. Directions and parking permits will be given out at the Rosh Hashanah morning services.

KOL NIDRE on EREV YOM KIPPUR.
YOM KIPPUR DAY and YAHRZEIT MEMORIAL SERVICES.
BREAKING THE FAST after Yom Kippur Services.
Many people have told us that the Ahavat Torah services for Kol Nidre, Yom Kippur, Yahrzeit (Remembrance), and the Break-the-Fast Dinner are the most accessible, welcoming, thoughtful, and uplifting gatherings they've ever experienced for High Holy Days. Everyone is welcome to attend,whether you are a lifelong Jew or someone who has kept your distance from organized religion or someone who has explored several spiritual traditions but there is still something very Jewish about your soul. Please visit the website http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or call 310 362-1111 to get more information and low-cost fees for these awe-inspiring moments held in the sanctuary of Kehillat Maarav in Santa Monica. ALSO, PLEASE SEND IN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE YOUR NAME, YOUR MEMORIAL LIST OF NAMES FOR THE BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE, AND ANY GUESTS WE SHOULD CONTACT SO THAT WE CAN ALL BE AN EQUAL PART OF THIS HOLY AND SACRED GATHERING.

YOUR CALENDAR/YOUR SELF

Whether you tend to live primarily according to the solar calendar or the Hebrew lunar calendar, or both, the Jewish New Year is a time to re-set your internal clock. Do you want another year of feeling rushed and disconnected? Or would you prefer a New Year of deeper meaning, connection, caring, and fulfillment?

In Judaism, the tone for the upcoming year (and how you want your next chapter in the Book of Life to be written) get influenced strongly during the weeks leading up to the sacred Days of Awe and at the holy moments of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Please make sure you clarify what might be out of synch in your life right now, and take steps to establish the tone and the quality of life that you deeply desire. And may you and your loved ones have a wonderful and healthy New Year.

WHAT EXACTLY IS GRASS-ROOTS JUDAISM?

At the large suburban temple where I grew up in Detroit in the 1960's, they had three paid rabbis, two paid cantors, several full-time administrators, and a congregation that mostly showed up twice a year on High Holidays. Then in the 1970's a new variation arose within Judaism called "the Havurah movement" (where groups of 7-30 people get together weekly or monthly for member-led celebrations, prayer services, and discussions).

Now it's the 21st century and a wonderful hybrid version has blended the best features of a rabbi-led congregation with the best features of a congregant-led Judaism. It could be called "Grass Roots Judaism" or "More Participatory Judaism." Or it could be called "One People, One Torah, Many Teachers," which is the motto of Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, a growing community that was formed in 2002 with Rabbi Miriam Hamrell not only leading the congregation but also finding ways to encourage and empower each unique individual who wants to bring their gifts forward.

In June 2010 there will be two events where you can witness this new hybrid version of "More Participatory Judaism" with your own eyes and ears. The first event is this Saturday, June 19th at the inspiring Community Meeting after Shabbat services. Co-presidents Jean Katz and Ron Estroff will be describing the huge variety of activities that the congregation has cooked up from its own creativity and passions. Then there will be an election of new board members and a chance to talk about the upcoming year.

The second event is an all-are-invited Celebration on Saturday night June 26th that will have live musical performances, dancing with anyone or everyone (you don't need to be coupled-up to have a great time), a beautiful Havdalah service, and a special honoring of four individuals who have contributed their creativity and caring to Ahavat Torah in many ways: Sasha Borenstein, Russ Hannan, Arlene Rosenblatt, and Sid Rosenblatt. There are details in the weekly newsletter. To RSVP and attend, call Rena Jaffe at 310 450-5225.

WHAT GRASS ROOTS JUDAISM LOOKS LIKE

At both the Community Meeting on Saturday afternoon June 19th and the Dinner Dance on Saturday night June 26th, you will notice that participatory/grass-roots Judaism is quite diverse and multi-faceted. For example, at Ahavat Torah Congregation the creativity and caring includes:

--Some members who have a strong sense of art, food, aesthetics and how to encourage each member to participate in creating a beautiful buffet lunch. At Ahavat Torah Congregation for many years, Beth Devermont has brought her interior design background and her organizing skills to the congregation as she took charge of making sure there was an abundant lunch buffet after services each week (and now her role is being given to volunteer coordinators Leslie Tuchman and Nadine Colla). For a not-so-large congregation, there is consistently and dependably each Shabbat a quite-large buffet of lox, bagels, dairy lunches, vegetarian delights, and salads brought by members. Plus on many weeks there is a nutritious and delicious soup cooked and contributed by Rabbi Miriam. Where else in the Jewish world do you get inspiring Torah teachings and exquisite vegetarian soups from the same rabbi, along with an abundant free buffet from all sorts of health-conscious friends?

--Some members who like to sing and who bring their music to Ahavat Torah events. Joel Warren sets up the sound system each week and accompanies the congregation on piano. On some weeks there is Kabbalistic drumming from Eli Lester and lots of shaking of davvening-enhancing instruments from Pattye Asarch, Marion Klein, Sherry Modell, and others. Plus the passionate participatory singing led by Gary Levine and Kimberly Haynes. Plus the Torah tropes by long-time members like Rena Jaffe, Sasha Borenstein, Jonathan Troper, and others, along with Torah tropes by new members like Janice Batzdorff. In addition, Vivian Gold and Phil Danufsky have started an occasional Saturday night kumsitz/sing-a-long/hootenanny that welcomes members, non-members, friends and family to join in lots of inspiring songs from musicals, beloved performers, and protest marches from the past several decades (Watch the newsletter for the next sing-a-long).

--Some members who like a great discussion group. At Ahavat Torah, Gloria Orenstein started a Salon that has speakers, artists, and discussions every few months. Jean Katz has put together some great discussions of various Jewish poets. Ellen Dubois has brought the congregation some fascinating speakers and discussions. Debra Estroff has organized a book group where all are invited. Aharon Nachshon has organized a movie-going group where all are invited. Please keep your eyes on the newsletter each week to see when the next chance to connect will arrive.

--Some members who like to repair the world. The social action committee currently led by Estelle Fisher and Sherry Modell has been coming up with a variety of ways to make a difference, and have helped many members of the congregation to overcome feelings of powerlessness when you see something that truly needs changing. In addition, our congregation has been helping the Sova food pantries for distressed families for many years and now more than ever they need our financial help and our weekly bottles of cooking oil, which are now transported each week by congregant Fred Summers.

--Some members who see a need and just get it done. Arlene Rosenblatt saw that at High Holiday services many people needed a transliteration of the prayers, so she sat down at her computer and created one. Sid Rosenblatt saw that we needed a website and so he helped to design one. Russ Hannan saw that the congregation needed a proper place to put the Torah so that it could be read easily each Saturday morning without making people strain their backs bending over. Then he applied his woodworking and boat-building skills to create the slightly-tilted, perfect-height Torah table that we use each Shabbat.

--Some members who keep their hearts open and love to reach out to others in the community. At Ahavat Torah there is a Bikkur Cholim committee and phone tree by which Blanche Moss and Rabbi Miriam make sure that those who are ill or in need of support get a boost of strength and assistance from a sizable number of members without having to beg for it. Shoshi Wilchfort and Estelle Markowitz make sure that each month on the second Shabbat there is a Simcha Shabbat celebration (with cake, flowers, and special blessings) for anyone who is celebrating a birthday, an anniversary, or some other big event. Numerous congregation members take turns volunteering to be the greeters at Shabbat services and to make new visitors and guests feel welcomed and included.

(I apologize for not listing more examples of how congregants come forward with their creative gifts. As Billy Crystal used to say, "Don't get me started...")

COMING FORWARD WITHOUT ARM-TWISTING

What has been truly remarkable about the first 8 years of Ahavat Torah is that Rabbi Miriam's role modeling has created an atmosphere in which lots of people tend to come forward with good ideas and creative additions without there being a lot of noodging and arm-twisting. Maybe it's because the rabbi is so generous and compassionate. Maybe it's because the congregation is filled with individuals who don't want to sit back and be "entertained" or "lectured at" in a large, impersonal synagogue. Maybe it's because one act of grass-roots creativity by one person tends to lead to another act of grass-roots creativity by another person.

Whatever is causing this continual flourishing of participation and mutual helpfulness, the Community Meeting on June 19th and the Celebration Dinner Dance on June 26th are intended to keep the flow going strong for years to come. So please make sure you will be at both of these inspiring events where you will experience "Grass Roots Judaism" directly and where you might get some ideas on how you want to offer your own gifts and wisdom to this growing community.

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The Community Meeting will be held in the Social Hall after Shabbat services on Saturday, June 19th at around 1:30.

The Celebration Dinner Dance will be held at the Marina City Club in Marina Del Rey on Saturday night, June 26th. Please check the recent newsletters for details and how to RSVP.

For more information about the various programs and activities of Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood, log onto www.ahavattorahcongregation.org or www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com.

NOT YOUR ZAYDE'S SEDER

(Translation note: A "Zayde" is a grandpa)

Every Spring for several thousand years an event takes place in small intimate groups around the world that stirs up trouble for the status quo and awakens the rebelliousness and compassion of many good people. It's called a Passover Seder and numerous social scientists consider it the most effective and enduring grass roots organizing event in human history. (Primarily because each year millions of small clusters of women and men gather to talk about what it means to be oppressed, what it takes to be free, and how to bring more empathy and courage into the world. In fact, many social change activists--both Jewish and non-Jewish--admit they got a crucial dose of their inspiration at Passover Seders).

Unfortunately, some people have never been to an inspiring Seder. They've only been to the boring kind where an inflexible patriarch goes on for 4 or 5 hours with little or no participation. Ironically, the essence of the Seder is to let each person (believer, skeptic, religious, or non-religious) ask questions and wrestle with the profound ideas for how to break out of our human mitzrayim (a Hebrew word that means not only Egypt but also can mean narrowness, constriction, enslavements, addictions, aggravations, confinements). Yet many Seders around the world have nice silverware and china, but are closer in leadership style to Pharaoh's hard-heartedness rather than the rebellious and compassionate style of Moses, Aaron, or Miriam, and the midwives who risked their own freedom by breaking the law and saving the condemned babies.

ASSESSING YOUR OWN SEDER HISTORY

In your own life thus far, have you ever been to a Passover Seder that truly inspired you and opened up your heart for doing good in the world? Have you ever heard the ancient story of personal and group liberation told in a way that empowered you to break out of some old ruts?

I remember as a child enjoying the foods at my beloved grandpa's Seder each year. It was wonderful to see how passionately he conducted the Seder and I especially loved the Hillel sandwich that combines matzoh, horseradish, chopped walnuts, apples and wine to remind us of the bitterness of slavery and the sweetness of freedom. Plus the half moon shaped jelly desserts in bright colors from Manischewitz that my sister and I split equally--she liked the yellow and green ones, I liked the orange and red ones.

I didn't fully realize, though, until age 16 that my beloved Zayde's Seder, conducted entirely by my very traditional grandpa from the old country for almost 5 hours with no questions allowed, was missing something. Only at age 16 did I find out from a close friend that the Seder was not intended to be a passive experience of listening to one's grandpa explain everything in a language no one at the table could understand. Rather, it's about asking questions, discussing various viewpoints, and honoring that each person has a unique and different way of understanding the struggle for freedom and integrity.

Ever since age 16, I've made sure each year to attend at least one creative Seder during the week of Passover meals to explore different ways of understanding God's assistance and the human search for the courage to break out of our enslavements. Some of these creative Seders were focused on rethinking gender roles and equal rights for women. Other Seders were focused on liberation and equal rights for African-Americans. One year I attended a Seder where there were Israelis, Palestinians, hawks, and doves praying together for peace and mutual respect. Another Seder was about the enslavements of our addictions and self-damaging habits with discussions of the crucial steps toward genuine freedom.

A UNIQUE GATHERING ON APRIL 3RD

This year there will be an original, creative and inspiring Seder at Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood. The ancient story of moving out of narrowness and enslavements will be told with modern applications to our personal lives and our world today. There will be participation from each person in the room as well as Rabbi Miriam Hamrell of Ahavat Torah Congregation, Reverend Doctor Janet Bregar of Village Lutheran Church, and Karima Kylberg of Mussallah Tauhid.

The 2010 Ahavat Torah Seder is entitled "Three Communities Celebrate Their Common Roots with a Community Passover Seder" and all are welcome to attend even if this is your very first Seder, or even if you are a veteran at eating more matzah and haroseth during Passover than your gastro-enterologist thinks you should.

The festive meal and inspiring discussion will take place immediately after Shabbat/Sabbath services on Saturday, April 3rd in the social hall at 343 Church Lane in Brentwood (1 block west of the 405 Freeway, 2 blocks west of Sepulveda, between Sunset and Montana) starting at around 12:15 p.m. (You are also invited to be part of the passionate singing, meditations, and Torah reading at the Shabbat services which begin at 10 a.m. in the sanctuary) .

A CUSTOM-MADE HAGGADAH

Many years ago when Arlene and Sid Rosenblatt were members of Temple Beth Hillel in North Hollywood, they enjoyed the shortened and easy-to-understand Haggadah (mostly in English) put together by Rabbi James Kaufman. Then for several years, Arlene and her daughter Julie did what many modern Jews do--they cut, pasted, and photocopied some additional spiritual teachings, diverse interpretations, and inspiring questions for experiencing the Seder on deeper levels each year with their family and friends.

Now in 2010, Arlene and Sid have made copies of these accessible customized Haggadot so that each participant on April 3rd can have a meaningful connection to the ancient story and its current applications in our own lives and communities. You will discover not only the traditional order of the Seder but also some heart-opening and thought-provoking modern interpretations that will make the holiday come alive for you and your loved ones.

No one knows exactly what will happen at this year's Seder because it all depends on each one of us showing up with our questions, our concerns, and our individual holy struggles on how to find positive ways to break out of enslavements and move successfully toward genuine freedom and integrity. Quite possibly something you say to the entire group or just to one person with whom you will be "breaking matzah" will create ripples of awareness and understanding that might last for a lifetime. Please know that this is a gathering where all points of view are treated with respect and that your own particular journey is welcome and honored at this unique gathering. We hope that this Passover will be a joyous time for meeting one another in a common search for personal growth and peace among all peoples.

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, please visit the website at http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/.

Because of the dietary restrictions associated with Passover, you are requested to sign-up ahead of time if you are interested in bringing one of the potluck dishes. For a list of foods that will be part of the festive meal, please see the Ahavat Torah weekly newsletter. To sign-up for bringing a specific food item, or to simply RSVP that you will be a part of the celebration of Passover, contact Pattye by March 30th at 310 391-4301 or at pattyekitty@verizon.com.

WHAT IF WE COULD PREVENT DOZENS OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND HURT FEELINGS?

Every day in families, friendships, workplaces, and congregations there are words spoken which unintentionally cause pain, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings.

For example, maybe you've been on the receiving end of someone's snarkiness or their storytelling about your private life. Or maybe you've had your own moments of talking about someone behind their back. Or maybe you didn't mean any harm, but it felt kinda right to dish a little about someone who wasn't there to clarify the details.

Some might say, "Hey, it's inevitable" or "Suck it up, life is a contact sport."

But in Judaism there are some fascinating teachings and guidelines on how to prevent unintentional pain to strangers, colleagues, and loved ones as a result of our choice of words.

IS IT CENSORSHIP OR IS IT MINDFULNESS?

In the 1870's in Radin, Russia there was a passionate rabbi named Yisrael Meir Kagan who was so focused on preventing pain from misspoken words and loose lips that he wrote an anonymous book called "Chofetz Chaim" (a Hebrew phrase which means the one who desires life and this phrase comes from Psalm 34):
"Who is the one who desires life (haChofetz Chaim)
who loves each day to see the good?
Guard your tongue from evil
and your lips from deceipt."

Within a few years, 4,000 copies of this book had been distributed to various traditional communities and people began calling Rabbi Kagan "The Chofetz Chaim." He had sparked something lasting and profound with his book, which essentially consists of a long list of guidelines from the written Torah and the oral Torah about how to see the good in life and how to prevent harm from the words you choose. This list of guidelines has been used ever since, mostly by observant Jews, for three purposes:
--to prevent gossip and character insinuations that can tear apart families, friendships, workplaces, and congregations.
--to help raise the level of conversation from pettiness to compassionate mindfulness.
--to help each of us not to get swayed or shmootzed by overhearing something that might be true or untrue about someone, but that leaves out important information or conveys a false impression.

In the large congregation where I grew up in Detroit, we didn't talk very much about Chofetz Chaim or the rules of compassionate speech. Like many modern congregations, we thought we could get along just fine without any firm guidelines. But in fact there were huge tensions and painful misunderstandings which arose from gossip, loose lips, and unintentionally insinuating statements about various leaders and members of the congregation.

Fifteen years ago I was doing some research and one-on-one interviews in Los Angeles to learn more about how Jews today practice or don't practice the traditional guidelines about compassionate speech. I found that for a small percentage of Jews today, the guidelines from Chofetz Chaim are considered to be "holy rules we ought to follow." For a much larger percentage of Jews today, these guidelines are considered to be "reasonable rules we ought to follow but we rarely do." Still other Jews consider the Chofetz Chaim's guidelines to be "censorship or rigidness that often get enforced with too much of a judgmental or shame-inducing tone of voice."

The most surprising thing I found out was how much a large number of people were uncomfortable when they were criticized for saying something that someone else considered "leshon hara (hurtful speech)." Since the vast majority of American Jews today have been raised in a society where people tend to bond by sharing intimate information about themselves and others (and since most Jews alive today have never been taught exactly what the guidelines for compassionate speech are in specific situations), many decent and good people told me that they "feel blind-sided when someone says, 'Oh, you shouldn't say that' or 'Watch out, that's leshon hara (hurtful speech).'" In most American Jewish families, communities and congregations today there seems to be no clear consensus or agreement on when to share information about someone else and when to keep silent.

Or as Yul Brynner used to say in The King and I, "It's a puzzlement."


DEVELOPING SOMETHING CREATIVE AND NEW

If you stop for a moment and ask yourself, "What do I want to practice in my own friendships and daily conversations about when to share personal information about someone else and when to respect confidentiality," what comes to mind as the guidelines you would like to follow? What are the questions and concerns you tend to have in your heart about finding the healthy balance between the freedom to speak honestly and the freedom to abstain from gossip or possibly off-putting statements about someone's positive or negative traits? What are the moments when you think to yourself, "Should I say something or should I be careful not to say too much because it might turn into something else--what is the right thing to do in this particular situation?"

To address this intriguing "puzzlement" of daily living, Ahavat Torah Congregation is going to attempt something new and somewhat unusual. Rather than being vague or unclear about what is compassionate speech and what might be hurtful speech, several members of the congregation and Rabbi Miriam Hamrell have suggested that this might be an excellent time to explore and discuss these important questions. What do each of us believe is the best way to prevent hurt feelings and misunderstandings? What would each of us prefer to have as guidelines for the future?

You are invited to participate in a unique creative, interactive process which will start in early March. You don't have to be a scholarly Jew and it doesn't matter if you've never before heard the name Chofetz Chaim or the words "leshon hara (hurtful speech)". What matters is that you bring your own insights, experiences, and sensibilities to this creative exploration.

THE DETAILS

On Tuesday night March 2nd at 7:30 pm and Tuesday night March 9th at 7:30 pm our congregation will have a two-part study session and discussion at the home of Jean Katz, 10383 Rochester Avenue in Westwood (between Wilshire and Ohio, just east of Beverly Glen) entitled: THE INTRICACIES OF DECIDING WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT NOT TO SAY: A Lively Discussion of Jewish Teachings on What Is or Is Not Leshon Hara, Plus How to Give Compassionate Feedback and How to Prevent Painful Misunderstandings (in Friendships, in Families, in Public, and in Private)

Of course you have a busy schedule and it's often overpacked. Or you might prefer to relax and watch your favorite television show that evening. But what if the conversation about compassionate speech truly needs your particular point of view and your unique insights? What if your own friendships and our congregation could be enhanced by the ideas and experiences you bring to this important issue? What if something you discover on one or both of those evenings could prevent you from losing a friend or hurting someone unintentionally?

PART ONE: THE ALL-ARE-INVITED STUDY SESSIONS

What you might find surprising and useful on Tuesday night March 2nd and Tuesday night March 9th is that there are some wonderful Jewish writings and ideas that can help us, our children, our grandchildren, our friends, and our colleagues to walk more gracefully through the mine-fields of human conversation. Both of these early March study and discussion sessions will combine traditional teachings, modern interpretations, and openness to the ideas of the people in the room.

With humor and helpful examples on both evenings, you will have a chance to go deeper into:

--How to understand the breakthrough insights and the practical advice of the Chofetz Chaim on how to prevent hurtful misunderstandings.
--How the Mussar (character refinement) movement in Judaism has helped clarify a gentler and less shaming way of giving feedback to someone who is saying things that make you uncomfortable.
--How a woman rabbi in the 21st century (Rabbi Margaret Moers Wenig, the Instructor of Liturgy and Homiletics at Hebrew Union College) has designed a more modern, less-shaming, and somewhat gentler way of applying the Chofetz Chaim's teachings to 21st century Jews who live in diverse American cities.
--How do each of us want to design our own version of these Jewish teachings on mindful speech and choosing our words more compassionately.

I will be facilitating the two study and discussion sessions with the intention of making sure that all diverse points of view are heard and respected. Please feel free to bring your questions, your concerns, your ideas for how you prefer these issues to be handled, and your willingness to learn how we can each be a blessing in all our interactions.

EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT QUITE SURE OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A LESHON HARA AND A LUCSHEN KUGEL, YOUR INSIGHTS, QUESTIONS, AND SUGGESTIONS REGARDING HOW TO HAVE HARM-FREE CONVERSATIONS ARE NEEDED AND WELCOMED. Please mark in your calendar to be at Jean Katz's house on Tuesday March 2nd and Tuesday March 9th at 7:30 pm both evenings.

PART TWO: THE FOLLOW-UP STEPS

After these two March 2010 study and discussion sessions, we will hopefully take this creative conversation about compassionate speech to a second level of insight and brainstorming. There will be an email sent out in April 2010 to ask every member of Ahavat Torah Congregation to offer their ideas, favorite quotes, and preferred suggestions on how to have mindful and harm-preventing conversations (with family members, friends, colleagues, and congregants).

Then in June 2010 we will compile these ideas, suggestions, warnings, concerns, and quotes into a booklet that will be more like the Talmud (with opposing and diverse views presented together on the same page creating much food-for-thought) rather than a one-size-fits-all rule book.

This booklet of 20-60 pages will be the first grass-roots, congregation-generated, "bipartisan" guidebook on compassionate speech. Each person who participates by emailing or calling in a comment can either put their own name next to their suggestions and ideas, or they can have anonymity.

Our hope is to raise our own level of understanding and discussion of these delicate issues and at the same time to create an easy-to-read booklet that might be useful for our children, grandchildren, friends, colleagues and other Jewish communities and congregations.

Please make sure you are there on March 2nd and March 9th so that this creative process will from the start have your good ideas and your specific inputs.

IN ORDER TO KNOW THE NUMBER OF CHAIRS AND REFRESHMENTS TO HAVE READY, PLEASE R.S.V.P. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO 310 815-1611 or lcfelder@yahoo.com.

Thank you ahead of time for bringing your wisdom and your insights to this important project. May it be a good thing for our congregation and for each of us in our daily lives.

DISCOVERING WHAT PEACEFULNESS FEELS LIKE

Have you heard the joke about the holy meditation teacher who is visiting midtown Manhattan for the first time and gets asked abruptly by an impatient street vendor selling roasted chestnuts, hot dogs, soft pretzels, and other quick foods.

The vendor slices open an empty bun and calls out, "Hey, you! Next! Hurry up. What d'ya want?"

The experienced meditation teacher breathes in and out calmly and says mindfully, "What do I want? Make me one with everything."

Is that something you have ever experienced: to be one with everything? Have you ever found a way to go beyond the anxious mind and become connected to the infinite or the unity of all that exists?

THE VARIETIES OF JEWISH MEDITATION

Most people don't know that Judaism has a long tradition of meditation and various methods for transcending the noise and stress of daily life. Even in the Torah, there are descriptions of moments of "Hitbodedut" (which has been translated by various writers as "oneness with HaShem," "isolating oneself," "aloneness with the Divine Presence," or "sitting with God.")

In the Hasidic tradition, Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav (the great grandson of the Baal Shem Tov who founded the Hasidic movement) and many others have described the health and wellness aspects of moments of quiet meditation. Reb Nachman described it as "the centerpiece of the way to God" and "the way to reach your highest level."

During the past 30 years, Jewish meditation has begun to grow and flourish as a daily practice in many parts of the Jewish community. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, an acclaimed physicist, rabbi and meditation teacher, wrote his classic book JEWISH MEDITATION in 1982. In the 1990's, Rabbi Nan Fink Geffen of Berkeley, California wrote her guidebook DISCOVERING JEWISH MEDITATION. In 2009, Rabbi Jeff Roth of the Elat Chayyim retreat center on the east coast, wrote another useful guide entitled JEWISH MEDITATION PRACTICES FOR EVERYDAY LIFE.

A GROWING INTEREST LOCALLY

At Ahavat Torah Congregation in Brentwood (near the 405 Freeway between Sunset Blvd. and Montana Avenue), meditation classes and discussion groups have become an activity of growing interest in the past few years. During 2009 there was a much enjoyed class on Jewish meditation taught by Rinat Amir, who has many years of experience teaching and practicing contemplative Jewish meditation techniques. During the mid-afternoon portion of Yom Kippur day services in the Fall of 2009, Rabbi Malka Mittelman led a gathering of "Jewish Yoga" that combined soulful Hebrew music and chanting with relaxing postures and a chance to connect deeply with the extraordinary spiritual energies of the holiest day of the year.

AN OPPORTUNITY TO MEDITATE

On Tuesday February 9th, 2010 and Tuesday February 16, 2010 there will be a two-part experiential class in how to meditate, taught by Jane Best. Jane has been meditating for 30 years and she joined Ahavat Torah during the 2008-2009 year.

I asked her what the class will be like and she explained, "I intend to keep it simple. It's open to everyone; for anyone who has never meditated and for anyone who has meditated and wants to go deeper into the experience of oneness. The group support can be very helpful for deeper meditation. The class will also be about integrating this experience in our daily lives."

In a relaxed environment the class will practice different meditation techniques as well as address:
--how to prepare ourselves for meditation.
--how to discover what style works best for each of us personally.
--how to welcome and embrace the divine experience.


If you are curious, or even if you are skeptical, you are welcome to join this class. Please plan to attend both sessions as it will support the momentum and depth of the group. Please wear comfortable clothes.

The class begins at 7:30 on both evenings, Tuesday February 9th and Tuesday February 16th. The location will be announced in the Ahavat Torah newsletter.

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For more information about Ahavat Torah Congregation, visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or explore the weblog articles at http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/.

THE BRIEF MOMENTS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE

A woman walks into the sanctuary of a congregation where she has never been before. She's had a stressful week.

She looks around at unfamiliar faces and sees that many congregants are greeting one another with warm embraces and lively conversation. She feels left out and alone.

Then a stranger gently comes up and says with a caring smile, "Hello. Shabbat Shalom. Here's a prayerbook that we use at services and that was put together by members of our congregation so that it could be accessible for those who know the prayers already, as well as those who are unfamiliar with the prayers but who want to understand the deeper meanings and intentions of the blessings and meditations."

The two women talk for a few minutes--warmly, genuinely, unpretentiously. The new visitor no longer feels so alone. In fact, she's quite surprised at how quickly she is starting to feel at home in this warm congregation called Ahavat Torah.

WHO'S THE GIVER, WHO'S THE RECEIVER?

I've always been fascinated by the volunteer greeters who reach out to those who are new (and also to those who have been to services before but who might enjoy an extra warm "hello, how are you" at the beginning of services). Who are these greeters? Why do they show up a little earlier than most other people? What are they thinking and feeling when they do their volunteer task? And are they always in the role of giving, or do they tend to receive something as well?

Helene Silber works at UCLA Extension on weekdays but on many Saturday mornings she is one of the volunteer greeters at Ahavat Torah Congregation, a few blocks west of the UCLA campus. According to Helene, "I decided to volunteer and be a greeter a few years ago and everytime I say to someone 'Good Shabbos' I feel as though it's coming back to me. The hugs, smiles, and words of recognition transcend me away from the everyday multi-tasking, multi-stressing into a special holy space. I feel myself giving love and getting love from my spiritual community. Ah, being Jewish, it is good, it is very good."

For Helene and many of the other greeters, the sacredness of Shabbat takes on an added dimension due to these moments of kindness. Helene explains, "There have been moments when I knew someone was going through a tough time, and I could reach out. Then there's often a smile or a gentle touch back that feels especially inspiring." Clearly, the greeters are not just chanting the words of the service but living up to the idea of the ancient prayers to open one's heart and be a vessel for Divine compassion.

Barbara Stone, a 5th grade teacher at a Science Magnet public school in Los Angeles, has been a greeter for the past 3 years. She has found, "It's a great way to start the day by saying Shabbat Shalom and making sure that new visitors and long-time congregants have what they need in order for them to have a meaningful experience at services."

Barbara feels, "It's important not to be too invasive when someone enters the sanctuary or is trying to get settled, but rather to be attentive and make sure this person feels welcomed and comfortable. No one wants to walk into a big room where they feel ignored or where they feel too pressured about anything. Many of us have been in exactly that situation in other congregations where you feel invisible or much too pressured right away."

In addition to the warmth she receives from the women and men she greets at services, Barbara finds, "One of the best parts of being a greeter is how much Rabbi Miriam thanks us with so much warmth and sincerity. At this congregation, the brief moments of greeting someone are not treated like a small thing but rather as something that increases the warmth of the services for each person in attendance."

Pattye Asarch, who has worked for ABC Television and other jobs, says that her volunteer work for Ahavat Torah as a greeter "gives me a lot of pleasure. I know what it's like to feel overlooked or left out, so I'm hoping that when I give a welcome to someone, hand this person our prayer book, and help them find their way in our community it makes a difference for that person."

Two of the most consistent greeters are no longer able to welcome people each week. New York native Janice Silberstein was a much-beloved greeter for several years until her sudden death this past year. British-born Lily Taylor greeted guests and members quite often for several years with her gracious, caring style until she recently moved to the Bay Area to be close to her extended family.

THE FORMAL AND THE INFORMAL

For a while, it was somewhat random and unplanned at Ahavat Torah regarding how to greet newcomers. But early on in the history of this 7 year old congregation, Sid Rosenblatt (who was then in charge of the Membership Committee) and Arlene Rosenblatt (who has helped welcome people and make them feel at home in the congregation in numerous ways) decided that being a greeter should be a solid commitment. According to Sid, "When I became membership chairman, Arlene and I did most of the greeting and enjoyed the opportunity of welcoming new worshippers, giving hugs to our members, and being the first to wish them 'Shabbat Shalom!'"

Eventually there was a dependable weekly list for each service of who are the greeters and a shared commitment by several volunteers to make sure each week there is sufficient attention given to making people feel comfortable and helping the Rabbi and Cantorial Soloists by responding to whatever logistics issues arise in the middle of a service. (The greeter list is coordinated by current membership committee director Ellen Dubois).

Quite often there are unexpected moments when the greeters do more than just greet people. One week when the congregational plumbing was "challenged", the greeters and other volunteers were immediately able to come up with creative solutions to make sure congregants were comfortable. At other times when visitors from the Twelve Step meetings in the social hall have entered the congregation, the greeters have been caring and helpful to explain to the visitors what the spiritual service is about and to welcome these individuals who had never seen a Jewish Shabbat gathering before.

But consistently 52 weeks a year at Ahavat Torah Congregation, it's not just the greeters who reach out to newcomers or who volunteer to be helpful. According to Rita Reuben, a social worker with many years of experience in large and small organizations, "One of the things I love about Ahavat Torah is that to some extent everyone feels like a greeter. I've seen so many moments where someone was kind to a newcomer or to a longtime congregant who was going through a hard time. We just seem to attract that kind of compassionate, thoughtful person."

David Rose, an accountant and financial advisor, describes how, "I have never been an actual greeter but I've often helped with putting away our books after services. I especially appreciate the efforts made by many of our members who carry multiple sets of books to me for storage. Some in the congregation just leave their books at their seats and I generally make a final tour of the pews to pick up these books. Michael Josephson in his 'Character Counts' articles and broadcasts, has talked about those who put their shopping carts away and those who do not. And I say hooray to the many people in our congregation whose 'character does count.'"

CREATING AN ENDLESS CHAIN

Quite often the kindness of one person in the congregation leads to an ongoing chain reaction of kindness. For example, Ellen Kimmel is a psychotherapist who describes how, "My first time at Ahavat Torah not very long ago, the greeters were very welcoming to me and made me feel at home. In fact, many congregants at Ahavat Torah were genuine and friendly. We were greeted not just by the official greeters, but by several other thoughtful and interesting people, too. They all made us feel we were a part of the congregation right away. I then began to attend services more often--and soon I decided to volunteer and make someone else feel as included as I was made to feel my first time attending services."

Ellen Kimmel recently became an official new member of Ahavat Torah and she's taken her place several times among the list of greeters who welcome each person at services with a warm 'Shabbat Shalom' and whatever support is needed.

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For more information about the weekly Shabbat services, the High Holyday services, or the many social action programs, classes, and celebrations of the congregation, please visit http://www.ahavattorahcongregation.org/ or log onto http://www.creatingsacredcommunity.blogspot.com/ . Or call (310) 362-1111.

Or come see for yourself the Shabbat services (10 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. each Saturday morning) or the weekly Mussar class (on how to use Jewish teachings to strengthen one's character and daily mindfulness) from 9-10 am each Saturday. Both of these gatherings are held at 343 Church Lane (between Montana and Sunset) just west of the 405 Freeway in Brentwood.